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Real Self-Care for the Busy, Burnt-Out Mama: How to Actually Make Time (Even When It Feels Impossible)

Let’s get one thing straight: self-care isn’t just spa days and sipping coffee in peace (although, bless it, we wouldn’t turn that down). For moms raising kids with trauma, special needs, or navigating foster and adoptive life, self-care is survival. It’s the oxygen mask we have to put on first- or we don’t make it to the next therapy appointment, meltdown, or midnight call.

Real self-care is fueling your body, protecting your peace, and anchoring yourself in Jesus so you can show up with love, patience, and presence. It’s not selfish. It’s strategic. And girl, you need it.

But the biggest objection I hear (and lived myself)? “I don’t have time.”

Sister, I hear you. Six kids, trauma behaviors, IEP meetings, therapies, court dates, medications, and mountains of laundry were my daily reality. I was deteriorating mentally, physically, and spiritually. I didn’t need more parenting strategies. I needed a rescue plan for myself.

Here’s how you can start making time for real self-care, even when your schedule feels impossible:

1. Stack It

If you wait for a free hour to appear, you’ll be waiting until retirement. Instead, stack self-care into what you’re already doing:

  • Drink a glass of water while making breakfast.
  • Do squats while brushing your teeth.
  • Play worship music or a mindset podcast while driving to appointments.

Small shifts create massive momentum over time.

2. Time Block with Grit and Grace

Schedule self-care like you schedule therapy sessions.

  • 10 min workout at 7AM.
  • 5 min prayer or journaling during nap time.
  • 15 min walk after dinner.

If the day blows up (because it will)? Offer yourself grace- not guilt. Then start again tomorrow.

3. Get the Kids Involved

Self-care doesn’t have to be solo.

  • Let your littles join your morning stretch.
  • Make a “hydration challenge” a family game.
  • Invite them into healthy habits so they learn by watching.

Modeling matters more than preaching.

4. Ask for What You Need

You are not weak for needing help. You’re wise.

  • Swap childcare with a trusted foster/adoptive mama.
  • Use respite care (it’s a gift, not a failure!).
  • Communicate with your spouse: “I need 20 minutes alone tonight.”

Asking for support isn’t giving up- it’s gearing up.

5. Anchor It in Faith

Your body and mind need care, but your soul needs anchoring. Start your day with Scripture. Pray out loud. Declare truth over your home.

Self-care without soul-care will always fall flat.

Final Thoughts

Mama, your health is a key part of your children’s healing. You can’t pour from an empty cup- especially when trauma is trying to drink from it first.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. You just need to take one tiny, faith-filled step at a time.

And if you need a little extra hope and practical help each week? 

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