When Excuses About Orphan Care Reveal Something Deeper

This might be tough to read.

Not because it’s meant to shame you or make you feel “less than.” No. That’s not the heart behind this.

But sometimes the hardest truths to hear are the ones we secretly already know.

When it comes to orphan care- whether that’s fostering, adopting, wrapping around families, or supporting vulnerable kids in other ways—we can find ourselves rattling off a list of reasons why “it’s just not for us.” Why “someone else is better equipped.” Why “this season isn’t the right one.”

And maybe that’s true sometimes. God absolutely calls us uniquely, and not everyone is meant to bring a child into their home.

But could we be honest enough to admit- at least to ourselves- that sometimes, it’s not about our capacity?

Sometimes, it’s about our unbelief.

Excuse 1: “I just don’t have the heart for that.”

The truth? Neither do I. Neither do you.

But Christ lives in us. His heart is meant to shape ours. And His heart beats for the orphan, the vulnerable, the unseen.

We aren’t called to dig deep into our own reserves of compassion. We’re called to reflect His heart, and He has never been indifferent to the fatherless.

Excuse 2: “I haven’t been called to foster or adopt.”

Calling is important. I won’t deny that.

But sometimes we hide behind “calling” to avoid what God’s already made crystal clear. Scripture doesn’t suggest orphan care as a special assignment for a select few. It presents it as part of pure religion (James 1:27).

Maybe the real question isn’t whether we’re called- but whether we’re listening.

Excuse 3: “I’m just not gifted in that way.”

Moses wasn’t “gifted” in public speaking. Esther wasn’t “gifted” in politics. Gideon wasn’t “gifted” in leadership.

God isn’t looking for the talented. He’s looking for the willing.

He does His best work through those who know they’re out of their depth. Because in the stretching, in the trembling “yes,” He gets the glory- not us.

Excuse 4: “It would hurt too much if they leave.”

Of course it will.

Love that mirrors God’s heart always costs something.

But He doesn’t ask us to hoard our hearts to avoid pain. He asks us to pour them out, trusting that His grace will be enough for every single day- for the moments of deep joy and the moments of aching loss.

Excuse 5: “I would get too attached.”

Good.

That’s exactly what these children need.

Attachment is not a liability in the kingdom of God. It’s a picture of His unrelenting love. It’s the very thing that begins to heal deep wounds.

If your heart breaks, it means you loved well.

Excuse 6: “God’s called me to take care of my own children.”

Yes. Absolutely.

But discipleship isn’t just about Bible stories at bedtime or Sunday school attendance. It’s about showing our kids what sacrificial love looks like in real life.

Sometimes the most powerful thing your children can witness is you saying “yes” to God- even when it’s uncomfortable, costly, or scary.

Here’s the truth:

Caring for the orphan doesn’t always mean bringing a child into your home.

Sometimes it looks like supporting foster families, mentoring a teen, funding an adoption, or simply showing up consistently for vulnerable kids.

But sometimes- it does mean opening your door, rearranging your life, and saying, “Come in. You are loved. You are safe.”

The how will look different for each of us.

The “if” should not.

God’s heart has always been for the fatherless. And if we’re His people, ours should be too.

So maybe today, we simply ask Him:

“Where am I making excuses?”

And “What do You want my next brave step to be?”

If you want to know ways that you can get involved- please reach out.